I Couldn't Believe What I Just Saw


Does all your marketing pass this 3-part headline test?
I couldn't believe what I just saw.

I stood up, furious. (You can always tell when I get mad, the steam starts coming right out the top of my bald head.)

I raised my arms in the air in disbelief, looking straight at the man wearing a black-striped shirt, the man who was refereeing my daughter's soccer game.

He was only a few feet away -- I was sitting right near the mid-field line -- smack in the middle of 50 other parents who were also screaming and yelling and carrying on like juveniles.

Courtney, my 12-year old daughter, was playing a soccer game on sunny Sunday in June. But not just any game, you understand.

It was the last game of the season, and it was her birthday. So there was much more at stake than usual.

Her team was locked in a 1-1 battle with 2 minutes to go. One of her teammates just launched a high arching pass down the left sideline.

Courtney raced after the ball and got there first. All that stood between her and the goal was the goalie. She began a beeline for glory but was rudely interrupted by a defender, who came out of nowhere to cut her off.

Next thing I know, 4 legs become entwined and 2 bodies go down to the ground with a thud.

Next thing I hear is the referee's whistle. He calls a foul on Courtney.

I couldn't believe it! Neither could anyone else who happened to be rooting for Courtney's team. The other half of the crowd was delighted, of course.

At that moment, standing there with my arms in the air, I was tempted to give the ref a piece of my mind. Really let him have it, ya know! "What are you, blind? Where'd ya get those glasses, at a garage sale?"

I started to form the words, but decided against it.

I had been down that road many times before, and remembered the simple fact that it wouldn't do any good. Nothing I said or did now could change the call.

Plus, I promised myself I would not act like an idiot today. Not on my daughter's birthday.

So I just shut my mouth and sat down. The game ended in an 1-1 tie and another soccer season was over.

Ever been to a youth soccer game? Do yourself a favor and go see one; every town has'em. You'll see kids having a blast and parents acting like idiots.

What you'll also see is a great lesson in communication. Or better yet, a lesson in how NOT to communicate.

What you'll see is dozens of parents all screaming simultaneously at their children, all telling them to do what the child already knows how to do.

When kids are playing soccer and their parents are yelling at them, how much of that sideline yelling do think the kids actually hear?

I asked my daughter that question recently. Her response: "I can't hear a word you say, Dad. So many people are all screaming at once, nothing any parent says makes any sense at all. It's just a bunch of jumbled noise."

Now let's take my daughter's comments and apply them to copywriting, or to any type of marketing, advertising, or sales material.

Isn't the soccer player just like your prospective customer? How many sales messages bombard your customer? Think about it.

Think about how many sales messages you receive every day via a multitude of mediums: radio & TV commercials, print ads in newspapers and magazines, billboards, etc, etc, etc.

Probably hundreds of them every day, isn't it?

And with all this marketing "noise" coming at the consumer every day, it is any wonder that most advertising is ignored? We've become immune to it, haven't we? And we have to, or we'd do nothing all day but handle incoming messages as fast as we can see or hear them.

So what are you doing to cut through all that noise and get your prospect's attention?

Here's where copywriting becomes a fine art that few take the time to master.

Without a doubt, the best way to get your prospect's attention is with an attention-getting headline. If your sales letters don't have a compelling headline, you are leaving a lot of money on the table.

When your prospect picks up your sales letter or other promotional material, you've got literally a few seconds to succeed. You've got to reach out and grab him, right away, or you'll lose him.

And the best way to do that is with a headline.

Let's take a look at an example from one of my own sales letters. My tax website contains a sales letter for my ebook, the Tax Reduction Toolkit. You can check it out at http://www.YouSaveOnTaxes.com/toolkit.html

Let's take a look at the headline I've put on this web page and see what we can learn about writing a good headline.

1. A good headline identifies your target audience.

The first line of copy reads:

"How any Small Business Owner of Self-Employed Person Can Save Thousands in Business Taxes".

Does that tell you who this message is for? If you are not a Small Biz Owner or Self-Employed Person, are you likely to continue reading? Probably not. And that's exactly what I want. Right away, I'm weeding out people that are not likely to need my ebook.

2. A good headline communicates a strong benefit.

The first sentence tells you exactly what you can gain by reading this web page -- how to save thousands in taxes.

Could that be any clearer?

A good headline answers the question, "What's in it for me?" People listen to one radio station, and one radio station only: WIFM. In case you didn't know, that stands for "What's InIt For Me".

If your headline doesn't focus on a benefit statement, you're barking up the wrong tree. How many times do you see a headline (if there is one at all!) that simply consists of the business name or other contact information. What a big mistake that is!

Who cares who you are, how many years you've been in business, what your credentials are. Sure, eventually there's a time and place for "resume-type" info. But the first thing the prospect sees should be something about the prospect: his needs, his desires, his problems -- and how you can help the prospect meet his needs, fulfill his desires, solve his problems.

The headline should have nothing to say about you and should focus solely on the prospect.

Is saving money on taxes a common problem for the small business owner or self-employed person? Obviously.

3. A good headline arouses curiosity, forcing the reader to continue reading.

Back to my website -- the next sentence reads:

"Introducing: Little-Known But Perfectly Legal Strategies To Reduce Your Taxes, Postpone Your Taxes, And Even Avoid Taxes Altogether!"

Now, assuming you are a member of my target audience, I want to tell you something so dramatic, so compelling, you just have to keep going. That's what this second sentence is designed to do.

It expands the concept of the first sentence, going into greater detail on the phrase, "save thousands in taxes".

I'm going to tell you about tax reduction strategies that are little-known yet perfectly legal. End result: you put more money in your pocket.

Do I have your attention? Are you wondering, "What are these strategies that most people don't know about. I would sure like to pay less tax; I better check this out."

And so off you go into the rest of the sales letter.

Take away that headline and the response rate drops dramatically.

Still with me? Here's a homework assignment for you to help you improve your copywriting.

1. Take a look at every piece of copywriting that promotes your business. Does it have a headline? If not, why not? If not, add a headline and see what happens to the response rate.

2. Analyze all your headlines according to the 3-part test outlined above:

HEADLINE TEST #1: Does it identify your prospective customer?

HEADLINE TEST #2: Does it offer a strong benefit?

HEADLINE TEST #3: Does it compel the reader to continue reading?

If your headline does not pass these three tests, fire up the word processor and start making changes today.

About the Author

Wayne M. Davies is author of the new eBook, "The Tax Reduction Toolkit: 29 Little-Known Legal Loopholes That Will Reduce Your Taxes By Thousands (For Small Business Owners and Self-Employed People Only!) http://www.YouSaveOnTaxes.com/toolkit.html





This article courtesy of http://www.abouteagles.com.
You may freely reprint this article on your website or in
your newsletter provided this courtesy notice and the author
name and URL remain intact.

Submit Your Article

Subscribe to our American Eagle newsletter!
Your email: